Tag Archives: tips

Garbage In, Garbage Out?

Drama Sells…

 LoveAndHipHopMarathon-1369416816 untitled wenn5814429

From reality television shows such as Love & Hip Hop, Jersey Shore, Bad Girls Club to The Real Housewives from wherever, drama is everywhere! And…we confess! It is easy for us to get caught up in the television drama, if we watch enough of it. Drama entices us to watch more and gets us “hooked”, so therefore drama sells.

With all the drama we watch on television (for those of us who have ever watched or admit to watching it, hehehe), have we lost sight of what healthy relationships look like? Whether it is with a family member or significant other, healthy relationships are still important, right? Maybe we do not agree. Maybe we feel comfortable with drama in our relationships? Maybe we think drama in relationships is the new norm? Maybe we do not realize how much watching these television shows impacts our relationships and how we interact with others? Regardless of how we feel, drama HAS infiltrated our society in a greater way and that is why we think it is important to reevaluate what healthy relationships really look like…

Man and a Woman with Their Heads Together Smiling Healthy-relationships 2449088_Healthy_Relationship_answer_2_xlarge

We think it is important for us to start from the beginning…what exactly does the word relationship mean? The definition of a relationship is, “The way in which two or more people are connected, or the state of being connected”. We all have a desire to be connected to others, right? We all have a desire to be loved and accepted, right? Did you know that there are wonderful benefits to having relationships? According to the December 2010 issue of Harvard Women’s Health Watch, “People who have satisfying relationships have been shown to be happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. In contrast, having few social ties is associated with depression, cognitive decline, and premature death”.

While it is important to understand that no person or relationship is perfect, there are ways to ensure that our relationships are as healthy as possible. Important qualities of healthy relationships include respect, communication, understanding, supportive, patience, compromise, trust, honesty, forgiveness, committed, etc. Here are some examples of how some of these qualities play out in relationships:

• Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.
• Respect Your Partner. Your partner’s wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.
• Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.
• Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
• Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.

Creating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship. Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:

Go out with your friends without your partner.
Participate in activities and hobbies you like.
Not have to share passwords to your email, social media accounts or phone.
Respect each other’s individual likes and needs.

Even healthy relationships can use a boost now and then. You may need a boost if you feel disconnected from your partner or like the relationship has gotten stale. If so, find a fun, simple activity you both enjoy, like going on a walk, and talk about the reasons why you want to be in the relationship.

It is important to surround yourself with relationships that accept you for who you are and with those who love you unconditionally. Relationships are beautiful and so are you! Know that you deserve wonderful relationships and you deserve to be treated with respect. Relationships take time to build upon, but given the proper qualities, relationships can be one of the most beautiful things we experience in this life…

The Secret to Long Marriage

Relationship Resources
http://loveisrespect.org
http://breakthecycle.org
http://thatsnotcool.com
http://healthymarriageinfo.org

                                                                                               Thanks for reading!
                                                                                          Sincerely,
                                                                                          Team Prevention

Ready for Halloween?

Halloween is coming up and many of you will be dressing up and heading out for a night on the town! Whether you are going to celebrate it Trick-or-Treating, at a house party with some friends, or heading to downtown Santa Cruz, here are some quick and easy steps so you and your friends can stay safe during your fun and spooky night.

Downtown Santa Cruz

  • Bring emergency cash and a cell phone (with full battery). You never know what craziness lies ahead so it’s always better to be prepared! You might also want to look up the numbers of local cab companies and store those on your phone. It’s better to have a plan than to be stranded! Play it safe.
  • Do not go alone! Downtown Santa Cruz can be quite hectic and there will be a ton of people there that you don’t know. Don’t agree to “meet up” with your friends and don’t say you’ll meet back up at the car afterwards, arrange a way for all of you to get there together, stay together, and leave together.
  • Develop a buddy system. It’s easy to lose track of one person, especially if you’re going in a large group, but assigning “buddies” to each person will help you stay together. Don’t wander off!
  • Steer clear of any potentially violent situations. It can happen anywhere, especially in big crowds. If something around you looks like it’s heating up, move away! Innocent bystanders are not safe. You never know what kind of weapons might be involved.
  • Be careful on the road. Assign a designated driver. Make sure that person has not had a drink and is able to drive. Many others drink and drive so be especially aware on this night. Make it home safe.

House Parties

  • Again, go with, hang with, and leave with close trusted friends! We cannot reiterate this enough. Most assaults occur with someone you know so don’t think that because you know most of the people at the party you’re safe by yourself. Stay with trusted friends and leave with them.
  • Carry emergency cash and a cell phone in case you get separated from your group.
  • Watch your drink! Do not accept a drink from someone you hardly know. Be wary of mixed drinks like “jungle juice”; these drinks can have an excessive amount of alcohol that could creep up on you later on. We do not condone drinking, but if you’re going to, be smart!
  • Don’t assume people you just met have good intentions. It’s nice and fun to meet new people and make new friends at a party, but don’t assume they have good intentions. Don’t isolate yourself with someone who you’ve just met.

Trick-or-Treating

  • Always carry a flashlight, cell phone, and emergency cash.
  • Make sure the treats you receive have not been tampered with.
  • Do not enter an unknown home or vehicle.
  • Use sidewalks (not the road or lawns), stay with the group, and take care of each other.

And last but not least, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. If something does not feel right, it probably isn’t. Don’t dismiss the warning signs. We know Halloween is fun and exciting, but these are simple and easy steps you can take that will make you and your friends safer. So remember to stay with trusted friends, carry emergency items (money, cell phone, etc), watch your drink, and have fun.

Happy Halloween!